Currently playing…

Let me first say it’s interesting to see that people actually do read this thing. or at least check to see if we’re interesting people. sorry people, we’re not that interesting. but you still came by 5 times today. : )

so currently: hmm. yes. currently i am at work waiting on some stupid image to blow up. well, not like that, but get bigger. we have this program that umm…well, it’s not that interesting, but bottom line is I’M BORED!

this happens quite a lot here. i sit on my bum and get bored. i do origami and check the days off my calendar. i can easily see how people can get into ruts in their lives and get used to it. as much as i hated it in the beginning – i’m starting to get used to it now. scary.

so i wrote some time ago about getting off my butt, and well, i got off but then i sat back down. hmph, judge all you want, you’d do it too at some point. and last night talking with Travis i discovered that i am still wondering what it is that i am peculiarly on this planet for. i have so many things that i enjoy, but are unsure of how to or which one to zone in on to make a career. design in terms of being chained to a computer is over for me. there’s much more to life and i’m much more excited by the idea of creation with my hands. whatever it may be. which leads me to the ideas of all the things i enjoy so much. and it all falls in the arena of creation. i love to cook. bake. book. coke….. i’ve taken a love to sewing. designing clothes. taking something from paper or idea to reality. one i can hold and even wear. i will always love to paint. i think working with my hands keeps my attention well enough to satisfy something not much else can. and that’s just a start to some of the passions i have – the selfish side.

i also have a passion for adoption. all things about it. the moms, the children, the dads, the families, bringing hope and peace and encouragement and love. i want to be an example for those who have none of that. i don’t believe God placed me here in this way for no reason.

but mostly. more strongly than the rest. i want to be a mom. a wife. stay at home. make a home. have dinner ready when Travis gets home. Get the kids from school. wear myself out doing things for my family. being a kitchen nazi. folding laundry. dusting. cleaning the bathroom. fixing a leak. repainting the house. rearranging the furniture. making it comfy. being happy. setting the mood in my home. having dogs. loving animals. loving people…..

it’s all there.

i had this other passion, but it burns so much less fervently than the others. to be involved and feel the benefits and joys of working in a church. and i’ve discovered something. it’s not for me. i’m called to be somewhere else. end of story.

so currently playing in my head is something like a mix of a cooking, fashion designer, adoption advocate mom who wants to do what God so graciously put me here for.

*and for those who are wondering: no i am not pregnant. thanks.*


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